I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
