When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
