RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Randomize
