So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
