C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize