Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Why are your pants in the freezer?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
