Having a random hookup so left but love u
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
