i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
