You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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