when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
