Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Randomize
