You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
he just fucked me for my cheese..
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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