Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize