my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
