Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
