I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
