no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
