And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
