barbara walters just said penis...
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
