Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
