Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
