hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
