Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
