we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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