Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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