He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
