white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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