let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
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