This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
