i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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