sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
nutella sex= disaster
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
