New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
