you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
