Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
