Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
