I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
