what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
