I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
So apparently I’m into choking now
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
