I heard we made out
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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