i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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