Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
