im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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