just tell him i said nine months
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
