watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
