census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
