you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Is it penis luge time yet?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
