I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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