i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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