Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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