i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
we're making bets on your personal life
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
