but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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