Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
