Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
