You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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