my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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