Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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