That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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