if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize